U.S. Bank’s Tom Naughton a roastee, and it was all for Cheyenne Village
Tom Naughton knew far too many things his “friends” could use as comedy fodder against him. They didn’t fail.
Banker, a staid Irish Catholic from Iowa, an OCD perfectionist with nary a hair out of place, told the folks roasting him Feb. 24: “You had a lot to work with.”
Indeed they did. At the annual Cheyenne Village “Turn Up the Heat as We Roast” fundraiser, they ruffled his hair, loosened his always-perfect tie and tossed his immaculate suit coat on the floor. Then he had to wear the fried-food T-shirt: “I went to the Iowa State Fair and all I got was Type 2 Diabetes.”
Naughton, regional president of U.S. Bank, took it all in stride. After all, he knows things about the others, especially lead roaster Dan Mueller, whose claim to fame is being in the Candy Hall of Fame. Candy as in Smarties and licorice and a 40-plus-year career as grocery candy broker. They’ve been buddies since the ’60s, “Tom Naughty” and “Opie” from Des Moines.
Mueller said Naughton had such intense OCD as a kid, when he had 64 crayons and only one needed sharpening, “Tom had to sharpen all 64 of them.”
“You bet,” said Naughton.
Friend Ray Deeny said Naughton is like Imelda Marcos. “When he travels, he brings 12 pairs of shoes.”
Added Naughton, “And they’re all lined up.”
Barbara Winter of Ent Credit Union said she was chosen as a roaster because of “that bank-credit union thing.” She zapped Naughton, pointing out the candy silver dollars wrapped in gold on the tables and “In Tom We Trust” bills hanging around the stage. “Those bankers, they have all the money they need from all those fees they charge!”
Naughton could only shake his head and note those “member rewards” credit unions give out.
Accountant Marvin Strait teased Naughton: “He was an exciting speaker when he was young, but he got over it!”
The Naughton-roast jokes had started off stage even before the event began. Gate malfunctions stalled guests from entering the Antlers parking garage, and Naughton was to blame, people joked. Then, when long lines of cars couldn’t get out of the garage, they were certain he was the culprit again.
Naughton landed some zingers about his roasters but had special words about his wife of 40 years, Ann, “a wonderful mother for our four children.” Their third grandchild, Nina, was born just days before the roast.
Naughton said Cheyenne Village, which supports adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities, was the first nonprofit he worked with in Colorado Springs. He had a fond childhood memory of “Sister Barbara” taking students through an institution for “mentally retarded” people in Des Moines. They watched as she took them into her arms and said, “These are all children of God.”
“Look how far society has come,” said Naughton.
The Cheyenne Village resident featured was Kirk Palmes, whose family was there to share his evening.
The annual roasts, all with prominent roastees, have evolved into a bit of a competition. The Naughton Roast raised nearly $200,000 and drew 400 guests. GE Johnson’s Jim Johnson had an almost identical tally two years ago. But the fellow with the gotcha chuckle was Mayor John Suthers, whose championship total was $250,000 with 550 attending.
Next up to challenge the fellows: 2019’s Pam Shockley-Zalabak, retired chancellor of the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs.
Always in suit and tie, banker Tom Naughton instead put on a hometown gift from a roaster about the Iowa State Fair and its fried food specialties: ” I Went to the Iowa State Fair and all I got was Type 2 Diabetes.” 022419 Photo by Linda Navarro
Cheyenne Village Tom Naughton Roast: Ann Naughton listens to the jokes and jabs as husband Tom is roasted onstage. 022419 Photo by Linda Navarro
Cheyenne Village Tom Naughton Roast: Iowa friend Dan Mueller, second from left, prepares to roast Tom Naughton as roaster Ray Deeny, seated, waits his turn. Emcee Rich Tosches waits for what’s coming next from Mueller. 022419 Photo by Linda Navarro
Cheyenne Village resident Kirk Palmes was joined by family after he told his story at the Tom Naughton Roast. From left, Jana Heiner, Krista Heiner, Jennifer Palmes, Charlie Heiner, Kirk, Laurie Heiner, Connie Palmes-Sanchez, Curt Heiner, Claude Sanchez. 022419 Photo by Linda Navarro
Marvin Strait and Barbara Winter chuckle as they wait their turn to roast banker Tom Naughton. 022419 Photo by Linda Navarro
Tom and Ann Naughton survived an evening of wicked fun at the Cheyenne Village Roast. 022419 Photo by Linda Navarro
Cheyenne Village Roast: Friends from Des Moines Barb and Dan “The Candy Man” Mueller were on hand to roast Tom Naughton. 022419 Photo by Linda Navarro
Cheyenne Village Executive Director Ann Turner and Barbara Winter of Ent were still laughing after the evening roast of banker Tom Naughton. Pop Tarts were an inside-joke award for banks vs. credit unions. 022419 Photo by Linda Navarro
Cheyenne Village Tom Naughton Roast: Doug and Kathy Price visit with Mary Lou Murphy, whose husband Chuck had been a roast victim several years earlier. 022419 Photo by Linda Navarro
Cheyenne Village Tom Naughton Roast: DeDe and Alan Benning 022419 Photo by Linda Navarro
Cheyenne Village Tom Naughton Roast: John and Cathy Marta 022419 Photo by Linda Navarro
Cheyenne Village Tom Naughton Roast: Brian Nicely and Karole Campbell 022419 Photo by Linda Navarro
Cheyenne Village Tom Naughton Roast: Randy Smith, left, visits with Haven Brewer. 022419 Photo by Linda Navarro
Cheyenne Village Tom Naughton Roast: Jeanne Solze and Mary Russell Baucom 022419 Photo by Linda Navarro
Cheyenne Village Tom Naughton Roast: Bob and Katie Lally 022419 Photo by Linda Navarro
Always in suit and tie, banker Tom Naughton instead put on a hometown gift from a roaster about the Iowa State Fair and its fried food specialties: ” I Went to the Iowa State Fair and all I got was Type 2 Diabetes.” 022419 Photo by Linda Navarro
Cheyenne Village Tom Naughton Roast: Ann Naughton listens to the jokes and jabs as husband Tom is roasted onstage. 022419 Photo by Linda Navarro
Cheyenne Village Tom Naughton Roast: Iowa friend Dan Mueller, second from left, prepares to roast Tom Naughton as roaster Ray Deeny, seated, waits his turn. Emcee Rich Tosches waits for what’s coming next from Mueller. 022419 Photo by Linda Navarro
Cheyenne Village resident Kirk Palmes was joined by family after he told his story at the Tom Naughton Roast. From left, Jana Heiner, Krista Heiner, Jennifer Palmes, Charlie Heiner, Kirk, Laurie Heiner, Connie Palmes-Sanchez, Curt Heiner, Claude Sanchez. 022419 Photo by Linda Navarro
Marvin Strait and Barbara Winter chuckle as they wait their turn to roast banker Tom Naughton. 022419 Photo by Linda Navarro
Tom and Ann Naughton survived an evening of wicked fun at the Cheyenne Village Roast. 022419 Photo by Linda Navarro
Cheyenne Village Roast: Friends from Des Moines Barb and Dan “The Candy Man” Mueller were on hand to roast Tom Naughton. 022419 Photo by Linda Navarro
Cheyenne Village Executive Director Ann Turner and Barbara Winter of Ent were still laughing after the evening roast of banker Tom Naughton. Pop Tarts were an inside-joke award for banks vs. credit unions. 022419 Photo by Linda Navarro
Cheyenne Village Tom Naughton Roast: Doug and Kathy Price visit with Mary Lou Murphy, whose husband Chuck had been a roast victim several years earlier. 022419 Photo by Linda Navarro
Cheyenne Village Tom Naughton Roast: DeDe and Alan Benning 022419 Photo by Linda Navarro
Cheyenne Village Tom Naughton Roast: John and Cathy Marta 022419 Photo by Linda Navarro
Cheyenne Village Tom Naughton Roast: Brian Nicely and Karole Campbell 022419 Photo by Linda Navarro
Cheyenne Village Tom Naughton Roast: Randy Smith, left, visits with Haven Brewer. 022419 Photo by Linda Navarro
Cheyenne Village Tom Naughton Roast: Jeanne Solze and Mary Russell Baucom 022419 Photo by Linda Navarro
Cheyenne Village Tom Naughton Roast: Bob and Katie Lally 022419 Photo by Linda Navarro
PREV
PREVIOUS
Dance to the sounds of popular Colorado Springs cover band The Sofakillers
Strictly a cover band, the SofaKillers got together at the end of 2009. They are so named to encourage people to “get off the sofa and support local music,” said guitarist Scott Uhalt of the Colorado Springs band. They are Tim Glenn on lead vocals, acoustic guitar and blues harp; Rich Lawson on lead guitar […]
New Bible app creates online community for progressive Christians
Crystal Cheatham calls it the “same old story.” The Philadelphian grew up in a Seventh-day Adventist home and found, when she came out as a lesbian, no “room for me in that space.” As she met people from other denominations who also felt marginalized, she discovered “a large chasm between conservative Christianity … and the […]