Where have you gone, Nolan Arenado? Our Cowtown turns its woeful eyes to you.
In the Fleece of the Millennium the Rockheads gave the Great and Powerful Arenado and $50 million to the Cardinals for The Bums of Summer.
Dick and The Lamebrain must be inducted immediately into the Baseball Hall of Sham.
The worst deal in baseball history was finalized 101 years ago in January when the Red Sox delivered Babe Ruth to the Yankees for $100,000 in four payments and a $300,000 loan.
This absolutely is the second-worst trade of all time.
Nado for nada. The Rockies can’t even get another Nolan — Nolan Gorman, the Cardinals’ No. 2 prospect and a third baseman.
The Red Sox suffered the Curse of the Bambino for 84 years. The Rockies likely will endure the Jinx of Nolan longer.
While St. Louis laughs, Colorado cries.
The Rockies’ most popular and the best offensive-defensive player in franchise history — a future Hall of Famer — is as gone as his 482-foot home run Sept. 10, 2019.
Thanks to Richard “Slaughterhouse’’ Monfort and Jeff “Poison Ivy Leaguer’’ Bridich, the Rox are the National Pastime’s official debased ball, bush-league team.
At Christmas I wrote that Monfort’s philosophy was “Let them eat fruitcake.’’ Because of the Arenado exit and in the tradition of Marie Antoinette, the Rockies’ slogan this season will be: “Let the fans eat dirt.’’
Following a 71-91 record in 2019, Monfort proclaimed publicly a year ago the Rockies would win 94 games. Instead, at the end of a depressed season, the Rockies won only 26 and had the most defective record down the stretch.
Recently, before the inexplicable robbery, a baseball website geek predicted the Rockies would finish with 64 victories in 2021. Instead, the Rox could threaten the 2003 Tigers’ record loss total in a 162-game schedule — 119.