Parents ’ response to addiction
Hats off to Jennifer Mulson for her Pikes Pick “Beautiful Boy,” and “Getting Sober With Buddha.” We all have or know a “Beautiful Boy” or girl. To someday overcome addiction, we parents must become aware of current treatment successes, do our research, push for prevention and create openness.
I have two young adult sons in recovery from hard drugs and walk alongside them with hope, without judgment. I encourage other parents to never give up. It’s heart- wrenching, but is what they need from us to simultaneously find tenacity in themselves. A “rock bottom” often ends in death. Parental involvement offers them a solid ladder of love.
What doesn’t work is detached self-protection. Withdrawal hurts the addict and us. They’re full of shame and self-loathing, so feeling unloved by a removed parent is a double whammy. I’ve learned to manage my fears and sadness, to “respond,” not “react,” with detached presence. I keep boundaries without pulling away from them when I think they’re using. There’s a fine line for parents between enabling (not helpful) and staying in their lives with hopeful distance.
As a clinician and mother of two “Beautiful Boys,” I suggest reading: “Clean: by David Sheff, Johann Hare and Gabor Mate’s work, “Russell Brand’s: Recovery, & Love First”, by Jay & Jay.
Getting our loved ones into treatment, whether they want it, is much better than leaving them on the streets. Once in, they have a higher chance of becoming and staying clean.
Barbarians aren’t just at the gate
We have entered a time in American history that is unprecedented. Up is down, left is right and the foundational pillars that have held our unsettled republic together are shaking.
There are numerous signs that we should shudder at, for our kids, grandkids and the likelihood of a continuing prospering America. Wake up and get engaged America!
From late-term abortion on demand — till the moment of birth, to porous borders and debates around whether a country should have meaningful immigration policies, protections and rules — never before in our history have we seen such focused angst and concerted effort and energy dedicated to destroying our union.
Many issues confronting us have little to do with something other than control. Yes, control of our way of life, control of our free speech and control leading to radical change to our country’s principles and culture. This battle, laid out decades ago is upon us, it is here. We are in a metaphorical war, and it is time to acknowledge and deal with it.
Let’s examine a couple of specifics:
In the state of Colorado, we are debating historic issues; including allowing the government to control sex education for our pre-public schoolchildren, to making the state irrelevant on the national scene by attacking the Constitution and Electoral College process by moving to a national popular vote instead.
Regardless of political affiliations, a little thought here seems self-evident.
Do we really want the state deciding what our young people should be taught about what appropriate sexual behavior is?
Do we really want to make individual states “nonissues” by allowing major states (including California and New York) to decide the fate of our country with no voice in presidential election cycles by supporting the national popular vote interstate compact?
Do we really want to attack the fundamentals of free enterprise by dissolving any form of health care competition by allowing the government to take over the system?
These are fundamental questions, which although uncomfortable, must be discussed around the kitchen table, importantly from the pulpit, in new and old media sources and most importantly debated in the public square.
Our lack of willingness to become engaged and the malaise that has engulfed our self-focused adulation is at a boiling point.
For God’s sake — wake up America, get your head out of your proverbial ‘hind end’ and realize the barbarians aren’t at the gate — they are in our camp running the show.
Teachers must be whatever child needs
Response to Mike Rosen and R Wayne Baughman: Both writers spoke of rewarding good teachers and penalizing “bad ones.” Instead, why don’t we apply the same philosophy to parenting? The admirable traits Baughman listed are what should be taught in the home. As a retired teacher of 38 years, I was trained to teach academics. Today teachers must be parent, counselor, psychologist, and whatever specialists a child needs. You don’t like your public schools, look at your society. Mr. Rosen, your statement about PERA being a pot of gold at the end of rainbow because 70 percent of the teachers are women and second income to husbands repulsed me more today than when I first heard it in 1970.
A knee-jerk reaction
The system of the Electoral College was established so that the socio-economic issues of each state were represented on a equally weighted basis. The electing of a president is actually 50 individual elections. Senate Bill 42, the proposal to join 10 other states and the District of Columbia in awarding the states electoral votes to whichever candidate wins the popular vote, is dangerous and very shortsighted. It is a knee-jerk reaction to the 2016 presidential election.
It is being propagated by state governments controlled by the Democratic Party. The primary argument is that each vote should count and the candidates would campaign in all states equally.
That is, in my opinion, a naive and or ignorant point of view. Colorado voters will be abdicating their votes to the whims of the current political environment if this bill passes.
I offer the following scenario as an example. It is election time, and there’s a particularly important issue that greatly affects the people of Colorado that the candidates are divided on. Colorado voters overwhelmingly vote for one candidate; however, the other candidate is leading the national popular vote. Colorado is a swing state during this election, but because it is part of the popular vote coalition, it is obligated to cast its electoral college votes for the candidate representing a position contrary to the states best interests. I ask you, did your vote count?