Ramblin' Man: Time for the airplane cell-phone minority to speak up

By Garrison Wells Published: December 15, 2013 | 12:00 am 0
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I, for one, hope that the Federal Communications Commission in its wisdom lets all of us chat on our cell phones on airplanes.

I know you are with me. Tens and tens of you.

I WANT to sit between a pair of jabbering airline passengers. I WANT to hear the person on my left arguing with his wife and the person on my right cutting a business deal.

I want to know about their kids. Their pets. Their deepest secrets.

I want to know what's for dinner, in case I decide to drop by.

I want these guys to drink heavily, too, so they can be loud and obnoxious.

Cell phones are just the right tool, allowing us to be rude in social situations. Heck, in every situation, like dinner with your wife.

We already chat while driving, so why not on the jetliner? At least we're not driving. That's left to the pilots, and you know they're up front chatting, texting and emailing.

What could be a more relaxing way to get ready for that vacation in Cancun than the din of 150 people talking simultaneously on their cell phones in a narrow metal tube, with rounded walls, so the sound echoes better.

One likes to start one's vacation with cacophony.

On Thursday, the FCC took the first step. In a split vote, they approved consideration of lifting the ban on in-flight cell phone usage.

Legislators and other agencies are looking at taking their own action.

A bill has been introduced by Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-Calif. and Sen. Lamar Alexander, R-Tenn., to ban cell phone gabbing on airliners. Bill Shuster, R-Pa., has introduced a bill that would let folks text, but not talk.

The Department of Transportation is looking at banning in-flight cell phone chatting, arguing they would annoy other passengers and this issue falls under the department's aviation consumer protection authority.

It's time for the gabby cell phone minority to speak up.

We WANT annoying calls on airlines. We want to annoy EVERYBODY!

Contact your legislators, your cousin's legislator, the Department of Transportation. The FAA, FCC and other acronyms.

And on your next flight, have all passengers put their cell phones on speaker and call someone. So everybody can hear everybody else's conversation.

Let the FCC see what it is unleashing. It's the FCC's version of: "Hey y'all. Watch this!"

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