Melissa and Vinnie Murphy don't know if they'll ever be able to forgive their oldest son.
"Right now, that's a very hard thing to see," Vinnie said Thursday in an interview with Gazette news partner KKTV. They haven't talked to Malik Murphy, 20, since he stabbed to death his 5- and 7-year-old siblings while they slept on Oct. 17.
They lost three children that day, the Murphys said.
"I've got so much anger and hate for my own son that I loved with every fiber in my being, so I don't know. I don't care," Melissa told KKTV.
The Murphys said they may visit Malik in jail for the first time next week.
In the interview, Melissa tells the harrowing tale of finding her youngest children, Noah and Sophia, in pools of blood, and her husband wrestling with their oldest, a knife still sticking out of Vinnie's neck.
The pain was evident in her voice and face as she struggled to describe the horror. She encountered 7-year-old Noah first, lying on the floor of the room he shared with Sophia and Malik in the basement of their home on Carlisle Street.
"There was so much blood," Melissa told KKTV. "I knew he was gone, so I left him ... I hated leaving him but I had to find Sophia."
She found her 5-year-old daughter upstairs; Sophia had almost made it to her parents' room.
"Her eyes were closing, she was half gone. I could feel her half gone, and I squeezed her neck and she made this noise and she went (gasping sound) and looked at me, opened her eyes. She knew I was there and she was just looking at me. She had no fear, she had no tear, she was not scared," Melissa told KKTV, "I just asked her to hold onto me...It felt forever, I swear it felt forever before help came."
In hindsight, Melissa said she now recalls sensing an "irritability" in Malik that night when he brought Sophia up to their bedroom for her routine midnight bathroom run.
"I remember him being real annoyed, just feeling that off of him," Melissa told KKTV.
Malik later told police he wanted to be alone in the home when he set out to kill his family, according to arrest records. He said he planned to bury their bodies in the backyard.
It wasn't the first time Malik thought about killing his family. He'd been struggling with mental health issues since he was 16, for which he was in therapy and taking medication, Melissa told KKTV.
Once, the homicidal thoughts became so strong Malik called police on himself last summer, Melissa said. Still, the parents said they never thought he'd actually act on it.
"The stuff that came out of Malik's mouth totally contradicted who he was," Melissa told KKTV, recalling the family happily playing football together earlier in the day on Oct. 17.
Malik has since shown remorse in jail, telling 9News reporter Anastasiya Bolton he was "extremely" sorry.
"It's like it wasn't me," Malik said. He told her nothing had happened to prompt the attack.
He remains in jail without bond on suspicion of two counts of first-degree murder and one count of attempted first-degree murder. He's scheduled for a preliminary hearing in February.
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