This week, I pushed the red button for a Hot Fudge Shake, one of 25 shakes for summer at Sonic.
These shakes are made with real ice cream, not some fabricated "dairy product" poured into a concrete mixer that spews artificial everything that they call a milkshake. In fact, my shake was so thick and authentic, they should call it a Hot Sludge Shake.
It's a sad state when a restaurant has to brag that it uses actual ice cream in its shakes. But kudos to Sonic for keeping it real.
Here's the blueprint: vanilla ice cream, hot fudge and milk, with whipped cream and a cherry on top.
Many Sonic drive-ins sell their shakes for half-price after 8 p.m. The price is 50 percent off, but the calories and fat grams remain the same. Wow, 1,510 calories and 74 fat grams? That's all right ... I'll eat again next Thursday.
I drank the whole 28-ounce large because I love milkshakes even more than I hate myself for loving milkshakes. Sonic also has a medium-size, 20-ounce cup with "only" 950 calories and 48 fat grams.
Milkshakes are one of the great guilty pleasures - take your time with it. Let it slowly wash over your tongue; savor every drop of sweet chocolate glop before you swallow. I feel a nap coming on.
The boss of Sonic's research-and-development team must have been on vacation because the crew has lost its mind coming up with 25 flavors. Among the more devious creations: Peanut Butter & Jelly Shake, Peanut Butter & Bacon (it's time to evaluate the R&D guys), Coconut Cream Pie and Cherry Cheesecake.
When it comes to shakes, I'm a chocolate fan, and Sonic has eight shakes with my favorite drug (yes, chocolate can hook you): Peanut Butter Fudge, Chocolate Covered Strawberry, Chocolate-Covered Banana, Chocolate Cream Pie, Chocolate Cheesecake, OREO Cheesecake and plain Chocolate. Plus Hot Fudge.
I went with the Hot Fudge Shake because I can't get enough chocolate. I admit this wasn't my first time sticking my face into a hot fudge shake. When I visit my local, reasonably priced gourmet ice cream shop, I order my shake with chocolate fudge ice cream. And instead of chocolate syrup, I ask for hot fudge. Forget the whipped cream on top - I want my shake as black as night.
A shake made with hot fudge comes out so thick, I save what I can't finish and use it to repair potholes on my street.