Dear Donna: Woman makes going out to eat a bit of an ordeal

By: Donna Shugrue Special to The Gazette
April 14, 2014 Updated: April 14, 2014 at 12:10 pm

Dear Donna,

I've started dating a lovely lady whose company I enjoy except for one aspect. She is very picky about how her food is prepared at restaurants. I appreciate that she is a wonderful cook, but it seems as though each time we dine out her instructions on how to prepare the food become more detailed and the first 15 minutes is spent talking to the waitress. Frankly, it is taking some of the fun out of dining. How can I address this without offending her? - Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

Honesty is the best policy. Tell her that while you value the fact that she is an excellent cook, it would be nice if she could keep her requests more brief when the two of you are dining out. Most of us know someone who does this and you likely will not be the first person to mention it to her. Good cooks are often picky about how their food is prepared. You might have to take the bad with the good and make sure she knows how much you enjoy her cooking.

Dear Donna,

I met the nicest guy and I really like him, but I am not feeling much of a spark. My friends and family think he is great and he treats me like a princess. He is the most thoughtful person I ever have met. My mother says to give it more time, but I feel like I am leading him on and I don't want to hurt him. Can you fall in love with someone without being attracted to them? - Jessica

Dear Jessica,

Your mother is right in that you should give it more time. I have seen little sparks grow into real, genuine attraction after couples have had more time to get to know each other. When you like how you are feeling with someone, they can become more attractive to you. You will be able to answer your own question in a few weeks.


Shugrue owns Perfectly Matched. Her column runs biweekly in Family. Email questions to or visit

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