Dear Donna: Woman alarmed by man's pot use

By: Donna Shugrue Special to The Gazette
January 20, 2014 Updated: January 20, 2014 at 8:15 am

Dear Donna,

I have had several dates with a man that I have enjoyed very much. He appears to have many of the qualities I am hoping to find in a partner. Recently, he shared with me that he enjoys marijuana edibles. I told him that was not something I could see myself doing, and he dropped the subject. I understand recreational marijuana is legal now and it makes some difference that he does not smoke it, but it still bothers me. For instance, I would not want him to eat an edible and then pick me up for a date. I am conflicted about what to do.

Dear Conflicted,

This is uncharted territory for everyone. He might consider marijuana edibles to be like having a beer. If you want to be assured that he will not indulge when he is driving with you in his car, you have to talk to him about it. However, it is legal and, if he drinks alcohol, would you tell him not to have a drink before he picks you up? If his driving has been fine, he might be offended. Instead of a conversation about marijuana edibles and driving with you, make it a conversation about recreational marijuana. Read about it, decide what questions you might ask and keep an open mind.

Dear Donna,

I have begun dating for the first time in 20 years, and I do not seem to be getting it right when it comes to paying the tab. I always offer to pay. Some ladies insist on splitting the bill and some accept my offer, but it always seems to be an awkward moment.

Dear Missing Something,

Next time, don't offer anything. Put your credit card on the table and let it be assumed that you are paying. Awkwardness gone.


Shugrue owns Perfectly Matched. Her column runs biweekly in Family. Email questions to or visit

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