Dear Donna: Shed beard, stay gray for maximum appeal

By: Donna Shugrue Special to The Gazette
April 28, 2014 Updated: April 28, 2014 at 12:20 pm

Dear Donna,

My sister is trying to persuade me to shave my beard and color my hair. She says ladies are not attracted to men who have beards and gray hair. I am recently single and starting to date again, and I am wondering if you agree with her? - John

Dear John,

I partially agree with your sister. I ask my female clients how they feel about facial hair and clean shaven is by far the preferred option, followed by a goatee with mustache, a mustache and a beard. Very few of my female clients are attracted to men who have long, full beards.

Whereas men usually are not attracted to women with gray hair, many women are attracted to men who have gray hair. In fact, my female clients almost always will say they are more attracted to a man who has natural gray hair than a man who colors his hair. I believe that is because most men think they can color their own hair, and the end result is not very natural-looking.

You have to be comfortable with your own look, but if you are considering your options for maximum appeal, I would suggest shaving your beard and keeping your gray hair.

Dear Donna,

I have been dating a man for three months and have yet to be invited to his home. We spend most of our time at my place or out doing things. Lately, I have dropped a couple of hints about wanting to see where he lives, and he agrees but it never happens. Do you think this is a red flag? - Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

You need to see where he lives or have a conversation about why it has not happened instead of dropping a couple of hints. By the time most couples have been dating consistently for three months, each has spent time in the other's home. I would not necessarily call it a red flag, more like bright orange. I have heard similar stories over the years, and it is often because his (or her) place is a mess. One hint can be to look at his car. People with messy cars often live in messy houses.


Shugrue owns Perfectly Matched. Her column runs biweekly in Family. Email questions to or visit

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