Dear Donna,

If I get told one more time that I am "too nice," I think I will scream. What am I supposed to do? And what does "too nice" mean? Guys seem interested in the beginning and the next thing I know I am "too nice."

Dear Too Nice,

When women say a man is "too nice," that often means they think he is too wimpy. Easy-going people are usually very nice, but sometimes to the point they don't stand up for themselves. When men say a woman is "too nice," it can mean the same thing - or that the physical side of the relationship is not developing quickly enough. Whatever reason someone is giving you for not being interested, it likely has more to do with them than you. The right man is going to love that you are so nice.

Dear Donna,

I am recently divorced and in my 60s. Since I started dating again, I am surprised by the number of women who seem to prefer texting to phone calls. I am not a fan of texting and I have no desire to become proficient at it. One lady told me that if I did not text, she would not be able to communicate with me as well. Do you think I will be limiting myself if I refuse to text? - Bob

Dear Bob,

It seems everyone in every age range texts. If someone is not interested because you don't text, she is not very interested to begin with. I would tell them that you prefer to hear their sweet voice. That should work.


Shugrue owns Perfectly Matched. Her column runs biweekly in Family. Email questions to or visit