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Dear Donna: Jealous response raises red flag

By: Donna Shugrue Special to The Gazette
March 17, 2014 Updated: March 17, 2014 at 6:05 pm
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Dear Donna,

Why would someone who says that he trusts me be jealous? I have been seeing this man for five months, and he said he believes I only have eyes for him. But he has asked me to quit communicating with a man who has been a friend for years. I explained that this friend never has been a romantic partner, and I see no reason to cut him out of my life. He dropped the subject, but I am feeling very uncomfortable that he would ask me to do such a thing. I think it is a big red flag.

Dear Red Flag,

Jealous people often have a hard time trusting and are not to be trusted. The dictionary defines jealous as a) intolerant of rivalry or unfaithfulness, b) disposed to suspect rivalry and unfaithfulness, c) hostile toward a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage. Some jealousy is not a bad thing, but after only five months to ask you to quit communicating with a longtime friend is inappropriate and probably a sign of things to come.

Tell him how you feel and ask him if he has had issues with jealousy in past relationships. You might be guilty by association because of the experiences he has had with other women. Pay attention to this red flag and listen closely to his answer.

Dear Donna,

For her birthday, my girlfriend wants me to go shopping without her and buy clothes that I would like to see on her. She gave me all of her sizes and wants me to pick out one outfit. I never have bought clothes for a lady, and I don't know where to start. Any suggestions? - Jason

Dear Jason,

Take the list of your girlfriend's sizes to any place that sells women's clothing and ask the sales lady for help. Taking a picture of your girlfriend could be helpful. You might try some of the Shops at Briargate: Ann Taylor, Banana Republic or White House/Black Market. She wants you to buy something you want to see on her but also keep her style and sense of taste in mind.

You could get mega brownie points for getting this right. Good luck!

-

Shugrue owns Perfectly Matched. Her column runs biweekly in Family. Email questions to donnashugrue@comcast.net or visit perfectlymatcheddating.com.

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