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Dear Donna: Don't try to limit what girlfriend says to others

By: Donna Shugrue Special to The Gazette
October 14, 2013
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Dear Donna,

My girlfriend went to lunch with a friend and accidentally left her cellphone on after we ended our conversation. I tried to let her know that she needed to hang up, but she did not hear me.

I could not resist listening to their conversation and I was very surprised by what I heard. My girlfriend was talking about our relationship, including intimate details about our private life. Most of it was positive and flattering, but I am afraid I will turn bright red the next time I see her friend. I am hesitant to talk to my girlfriend about this, but I want her to know I would prefer that she be more private about our personal life. - Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

I think you should feel good that most of it was positive and flattering. It was a conversation you should not have overheard in the first place and it likely will not change what your girlfriend decides to share with her friend.

Girls will be girls and I think women, in general, share more intimate details with their girlfriends than men do with their friends. I think you should let it go. Then no one will notice if you turn red the next time you see her friend.

Dear Donna,

I am in my 50s and dating a man, also in his 50s, who never has been married. He says he always has been open to marriage but never has met the right person. He knows that I eventually want to be married, and he assures me that is an option. What do you think it says about someone who is in this age range and never been married? Fear of commitment? - Barb

Dear Barb,

Ask him about his relationship history, starting with the most recent relationship prior to meeting you. Ask how long it lasted and who chose to end it. Continue on to earlier relationships.

What matters more than the fact that he never has married is what his relationships have been like with other women. Maybe he has been waiting for you and has not settled for less in the meantime.

-

Shugrue owns Perfectly Matched. Her column runs biweekly in Family. Email questions to donnashugrue@comcast.net or visit

perfectlymatcheddating.com.

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