February 10, 2014
My brother is the best guy, but he keeps falling in love with ladies who take advantage of him and break his heart. A friend introduced him to a lady who I feel is an ideal match. She is beautiful, sweet and treats him great. However, he told me that he likely will stop seeing her because he does not feel the passion he wants to feel. He says she is too passive and not exciting enough. I wish I could get him to see the light, but it seems he is not happy if he is not arguing and fighting with someone. Is he hopeless?
Some people are drawn to drama. Sweet people are often easygoing and do not have a lot of drama in their lives. No one is hopeless, but your brother probably will continue to be attracted to someone who challenges him. Many confuse drama with passion and your brother might be one of them.
I have been in an off-and-on relationship for two years, and I am having a hard time ending it. Everyone thinks he is wrong for me, and this time I haven't even told them that we are back together because I know they won't approve. Every time we break up, I really think it's over. Then a few weeks go by, he calls and we end up back together. I know he isn't right for me, but we have great chemistry. I can't resist seeing him when he calls. How can I stop this? - Mary
If you want to end this relationship, you only have to do one thing: no communication for three months. No dates, no phone calls, no emails, no text messages, no letters. You said everyone thinks he is wrong for you, including you. Can everyone be wrong? This off-and-on relationship keeps you from being emotionally available to someone who is right for you.
Shugrue owns Perfectly Matched. Her column runs biweekly in Family. Email questions to email@example.com or visit perfectlymatcheddating.com.