Dear Donna: Abrupt end to dating relationship all too common

By: Donna Shugrue Special to The Gazette
October 7, 2013

Dear Donna,

I met a man a few weeks ago, and we have gone out at least a dozen times. I thought everything was going great and then it was like he fell off the face of the earth. After several attempts to get an explanation, he finally responded to a text and said, "It just wasn't working for me, sorry." I can't understand why he doesn't have the common decency to let me know why he changed his mind. Do you know what I could say to get him to respond? I am totally bummed.

Dear Totally Bummed,

You should let this go. It doesn't matter what his reasons are for ending the relationship so abruptly; they probably have little to do with you. It's always hurtful when someone refuses to communicate after you've shared good times. You might not have the closure you want, but hopefully you can take some comfort in knowing this is one of the complaints I hear most often from people who are dating. The irony is that even someone who has experienced it and knows how hurtful it can be will turn around and do it to someone else. Common decency should prevail, but it appears many people simply chicken out.

Dear Donna,

My fianc? and I are getting married in a few months. I told her when I proposed that I wanted a prenuptial agreement. She agreed at the time but now is having a problem with the idea. Do your clients do prenuptials when they marry? Just curious.

Dear Just Curious,

What I hear mostly from my clients about their experiences with prenuptial agreements is that they aren't worth the paper on which they are written. Fewer people are getting married today, especially in their 50s and 60s, and many of them create their own agreements. The definition of prenuptial is "an agreement made or occurring before marriage." I think the word prenuptial should be eliminated and it should be referred to as what it is, a Premarital Mutual Agreement. That sounds much more pleasant than prenuptial.


Donna Shugrue owns Perfectly Matched. Her column runs biweekly in Family. Email questions to or visit

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