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Can pastors make a comeback after scandal?

By: EMILY MCFARLAN MILLER Religion News Service
May 15, 2016 Updated: May 15, 2016 at 5:45 am
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Paul, Melinda, Baleigh and McKayla Hand.

Paul Hand may not be as well-known as a Tullian Tchividjian or, back in the day, a Ted Haggard or Jim Bakker.

But Hand has something in common with those once-popular preachers: In 2014, the husband and father of two had what's known in Christian circles as a "moral failure" - in his case, an inappropriate relationship with his ministry assistant. He ultimately resigned from Crossgates Baptist Church, a congregation of about 5,000 in Brandon, Miss.

It's a story as familiar to small, neighborhood churches as it is to megachurches, though those are the ones that grab headlines as they did this year when Tchividjian was fired from a second church after confessing to another affair while pastor of Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church in Fort Lauderdale, Fla.

The news was met with concern and criticism that Tchividjian had returned to ministry too quickly. It also raised the question of how pastors are rehabbed and restored to ministry after such indiscretions - and whether they should be.

"A pastor that's failed - it's like ripples in a stream," said H.B. London Jr., who for more than two decades was pastor to pastors at Focus on the Family and worked with many who experienced failures, including Haggard.

"His influence is not just limited to a local congregation. It extends much beyond that, and so when a pastor fails, the disappointment and the tragedy of it goes far beyond just his family and the local congregation."

Half of Protestant pastors say their peers should step down from the pulpit for a time while the church investigates misconduct, according to data from a telephone survey of 1,000 such pastors released Tuesday by Nashville-based LifeWay Research.

And when that misconduct is adultery, they're split on how long that time should be: 21 percent said at least a year; 24 percent, permanently. And 25 percent weren't sure, according to the survey.

"Pastors believe church leaders should be held to high standards. They also want to protect themselves against allegations that could be false," LifeWay Executive Director Ed Stetzer said in a news release.

Set up to fail

Hand had been a commercial insurance agent for years, he said, but he always had felt called to ministry. With his pastor's encouragement, he started taking seminary courses in 2009 and joined the staff of Crossgates as its marriage and family pastor in 2011.

His wife, Melinda Hand, already was on staff at the church, and as she took on more roles at the church, she ended up working under him. He took on more roles, too, "all the while going to school full time, being a dad and husband and all those other things."

"I loved pastoring people, but it was overwhelming," he said.

His wife started experiencing heart problems because of stress. He began confiding in his assistant.

Seven or eight months later, Hand said, he and his assistant admitted that while their relationship never had become physical, they had feelings for each other. He wasn't sure where to turn for advice. The men who were supposed to hold him accountable were the deacons at his church, but he was afraid of how they might react to his confession.

That's the problem many pastors face, according to Kevin Cone, director of City of Refuge, which provides services for pastors and their families during such transitions.

"Whatever your struggle is, if it's anger or lust or greed, it's going to take its toll, and it's going to come out, and you're going to have a rough time," Cone said.

Of course, adultery isn't the only moral failure pastors have.

Former Mars Hill Pastor Mark Driscoll had left his Seattle church in 2014 amid allegations of plagiarism and abusive behavior, as well as outcry over comments he had made on a church message board.

Driscoll, too, raised eyebrows with his quick return to ministry, launching The Trinity Church this year near Phoenix.

Preventing the problem

Hand thought he might go back to selling insurance. Instead, he spent a semester as a substitute teacher at a nearby high school and the summer working for a neighbor's business, cleaning gutters.

And when, more than a year after his restoration process began, an invitation came to return to ministry as a full-time missionary, he accepted. He and his wife moved to Florence, Italy, in March.

"Most pastors come with this compassionate thing. We want to help people, we want to repair people, we want to take care of people, and if we don't watch it, we won't take care of ourselves," he said.

"What I learned about myself and what got me in this position was me basically not trusting God. . The stress of being in ministry, school, family, those issues - God knew all of that. He knew I was in that situation, and he still had me there. . Instead of trusting in that, I was trying to figure it out and do it on my own."

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