Colorado Springs News, Sports & Business

OUR VIEW: They say birth certificate may be fake (poll)

Wayne Laugesen Updated: April 27, 2011 at 12:00 am

As President Barack Obama continued hurting this country as a failing president, compounding the progressive economic catastrophes of George W. Bush, The Gazette’s editorial board became fed up with the “birther” movement of conspiracy theorists who believed Obama was a foreigner. These people are to the right what 9-11 conspiracy nuts are to the left.

On Feb. 17, this column stated: “The president enjoys an ongoing distraction that’s more valuable than anything he or his advisers could have contrived.

"While the president pretends to cut spending — telling a whopper about proposing a balanced budget — a chunk of his most-impassioned opponents are trying to find out where he was born. The ‘birther’ conspiracy theorists believe that Obama is a foreigner, who cannot reveal a valid American birth certificate. They’re not satisfied with his ‘certificate of natural birth’ from Hawaii, demanding to see a long-form birth certificate.

“It’s a good bet Obama has what they want, at his fingertips, and will reveal it if and when he needs to. In the meantime, he would be insane to diffuse the black helicopter crowd. It’s the perfect political chaff, drawing the enemy’s rage to the wrong target while Obama has his way with policy. Talk show hosts who could legitimately challenge Obama’s policies — including Colorado’s own Peter Boyles — waste hours, days, weeks and months expressing exasperation at Obama’s refusal to further document his birth. For Obama, it’s the gift that keeps giving. Money could not buy this political advantage.”

Today, the editorial board’s prophesy came true. Obama released his long-form birth certificate and explained that it has kept the eyes of his opponent’s off the ball, providing “sideshows and carnival barkers” to distract from important fiscal policy matters.

White House Communications Director Dan Pfeiffer said this: “At a time of great consequence for this country — when we should be debating how we win the future, reduce our deficit, deal with high gas prices and bring stability to the Middle East, Washington, DC, was once again distracted by a fake issue.”

In other words, the hand is quicker than the eye and the joke was on you crazies.

Boyles, a high priest in the birther movement, has an enviable place in the mainstream media as host of the prime three hours on Denver’s top radio talk station, KHOW. Day after day for the past two years, when he wasn’t demonizing the infants of illegal immigrants, Boyles questioned the president’s citizenship and demanded to see the long-form birth certificate.

Upon its release, one would have expected Boyles to announce his retirement, or to hang his head low and apologize. But that’s not what happened this morning.

(Vote in poll to the right in red type. Must vote to see results. Thanks!)

Instead, he promised listeners: “This isn’t over.” He desperately reminded his audience that John Mark Carr was presented to the public as the killer of JonBenet Ramsey, and wound up as merely a wannabe, pretend killer. The implication is that Obama’s long-form certificate is not real. He questioned why Obama’s race appears as “African,” explaining that “African” isn’t a race. Let’s see… Was that the work of a minimum wage clerk on the day of Obama’s birth? Or is it a clumsy mistake by one of the growing army of high-level conspirators who invested in putting a foreigner in the White House? Conspiracy theorists will believe the latter, and you heard it here first.

Boyles, who typifies all of the birther conspiracy types, demanded to know why he hasn’t seen Obama’s marriage license, various school records and all sorts of other personal documentation that has nothing to do with the president’s leadership of the country.

“Why now?” Boyles asked, regarding the timing of the release of the long-form certificate.

Well, here’s a theory that’s only slightly conspiratorial. Obama did so today because Donald Trump joined the birther circus this month and expressed his interest in running for president. Trump sent investigators to Hawaii in an effort to find the truth about Obama’s birth. Trump predictably took credit for the president’s release of the certificate, which is the likely reason Obama chose today for the release. It was the apex of the circus. Obama probably wants Trump in the mix, as the ideal carnival barker to distract Republicans from finding a viable candidate. And who could blame him? Shrewd politicians should make the best of the birth certificates life deals them.

The birther conspiracy will not end with the release of the long-form certificate. Boyles and other conspiracy buffs will instantly expand the conspiracy to include bureaucracies and people at the highest levels of government. The sideshow may help keep Obama as ringmaster for another four years.

Friend editorial page editor Wayne Laugesen on Facebook

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